my song will be...

Jesus, I love you
Jesus, I adore you
Jesus, I love you
You’re the one I want

Audra Lynn’s worship washing over me.
Breathing in deep.
Peace within.
Peace beyond understanding, so much of the future is unknown.
Peace that passes understanding indeed [phil. 4:6-7].

Jesus, I love you

Tired body, spirit alive.

4.22.11

One of my dear, second-mom friends sent me a letter the other day. I love getting mail and I love hearing from her! At the end of the letter, it said, “I hope you are finding what you are seeking”. As I pondered that phrase, a song popped into my head.

The more I seek you, the more I find you

The more I find you, the more I love you

Oh how those words washed over me. And I realized that yes, I am finding what I am seeking. I am finding God. And the more I find Him the more I really do love Him. I love Jesus. And the more I talk with Him, listen to Him, and study His life, the more I become like Him. What a glorious man He is! Son of God, Son of Man. He is the most humble man there ever was and ever will be and that is why the Father exalted Him to the highest place.

Slowly, buy surely, He is working in me and changing me. He is making me like Him. He is setting me free and making me radiant.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. Ps. 34:4-5

4.10.11

Sitting in the prayer room tonight, I was having a really hard time reading my bible. I felt dull. My eyes were going over the words, but nothing was hitting my heart. I couldn't get anything from the words. Sitting there, I put my bible to the side (maybe I'll connect through the worship... ). Nothing. I couldn't worship, I couldn't read, I couldn't even pray. So frustrated with myself, I begin to journal.

"Holy Spirit, help me. I need you. Give me hunger for you, for your word. Open my eyes to the wonderful things in the bible. I can't do anything without you." 


I set down my journal as the set ended and the next worship team came up. They started off with 'Your Love is Extravagant'. Just a little into it, I began to feel the presence of Holy Spirit and tears started rolling down my face. I didn't even know exactly why I was crying, but Holy Spirit had heard me and He was answering my prayer! After a few moments, I started thanking Him for listening to me and caring for me and tenderizing my heart. For the next half hour I simply rested in His love. My tears were prayers, a love offering to the Lord. He is a good dad.

masterpiece

My Aunt Beth is a cooking genius. She is an artist in the kitchen. Each dish is unique, every recipe is a distinct masterpiece.

Yesterday I was prophesied over by one of the prophecy teams here at IHOP. They prophecy edification, encouragement and comfort (1 Corinthians 14:3). The catch phrase here is "no dates, mates or babies" (haha!). So one of the prophetic words they spoke over me was, "Like when a chef goes into a kitchen to cook without using a recipe and he says, 'I'm just going to create something today.' Like that, the Lord calls me His creation, His beautiful creation. And when the chef finishes making the meal, he calls people over to come and taste it and they all say, 'This is good.' And when the Lord created you, He said 'This is good.'"

As I was talking to the Lord about what that meant and what else He wanted to say to me, He brought up my Aunt Beth. When she cooks a delicious meal, those who eat it don't say, "Wow, soup, you really did a good job sitting on the stove." "Bread, you really are special! Good job seasoning yourself." No. Those who taste the good cooking honor the cook or the chef.

Me, my life, myself, my work, my heart, my attitude is meant to point everyone to the Lord. To God be the glory!

"Taste and see that the Lord is good" Psalm 34:8

the norm

Last night, as my roommates and I lay in our beds, we talked about the day. We all finished reading Matthew that day so that was the fresh-in-our-minds topic of conversation.

"Jesus is so FUNNY." "Man, and the disciples!? They were so thick." "It's so awesome how Jesus, every time, would stump the pharisees." "Aaaaah, I love Jesus!"

These are just an idea of how our conversation went. Is it normal to be giggling about the how witty Jesus is? Is it normal to love the word of God? Is it normal to get excited about who Jesus is?

Probably not, but it should be.

nothing but the blood.

“Jesus came to offer an incredible trade--beauty for ashes. God looks at the ashes nobody wants and says, ‘Don’t throw them away! I want them! Give them to Me and I will give My beauty in exchange for the useless mess into which their lives have devolved.’ God Himself is the alternate reality for those who are broken and beaten down. In the revelation of His Son, Jesus, a way is made for people to find joy and the fulfillment of their heart’s longing. Their lives can be changed through progressive encounters with the beauty of God as seen in the face of Jesus (2 Corinthians 4:6).”

(Mike Bickle, Seven Longings of the Human Heart)

The understanding of the beauty and worthiness of Jesus and the depth of my sin is changing me. For real. I am nothing without Jesus. Nuh-thing. But because I am redeemed, God calls me beautiful; He sees me as worthy. 

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

Yes, worthy. I am worthy, I am clean, I am pure, I am beautiful. But only, only, ONLY, by the blood of the Lamb.

a glimpse at IHOP through my eyes

Well, well, well, it's been a while! I have been here in Kansas City, MO for nearly 3 weeks! It's crazy. I wanted to do a quick little overview of what life is like here at IHOP-KC, then in later posts I will go deeper into what I am learning and what God is doing in my heart.

I have two roommates. The three of us, along with eight other girls next door and right below us, make up our core group.  We have two associate core leaders (ACL). One lives in the same apartment with us and the other lives in the apartment below with four girls in our core group. Our senior core leader is awesome, but she doesn’t live with us. We all make our beds every day and have weekly chores and everything, it's great! Honestly, these girls are wonderful. It's really an answer to prayer to be living life with women who love God, respect each other and want to run hard together into greater knowledge and love for Jesus. I am so thankful!

My schedule here is BUSY. It's great, though. I wouldn't want to be sitting around all day twiddling my thumbs! Here is a peek at what my schedule looks like:

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday we head over to IHOPU on shuttles for worship at 9 and then class from 10-12, then we have lunch from 12-1. after lunch we usually have a meeting or another class or prayer room hours until 4 or 5 in the afternoon. Dinner is 5-6 and then we have a 50 minute meeting with our core groups where we can ask our leaders questions and discuss what we're processing. Usually though we have a specific lesson that our core leader teaches. Then we are in the prayer room from 7-midnight. 

During our prayer room hours we can read the bible or other bible study books, journal, worship, and pray. It’s our time to encounter God. Also, we have a two-hour set that is intercession for specific topics. On Mondays the focus is human trafficking, Tuesdays are focused on prayer for the salvation of Israel, Wednesdays it’s for Kansas City. On any given day, if there is a crisis going on somewhere in the world, they will most likely interrupt the regular prayer focus to whatever the crisis is. Ever since Friday we have been praying for Egypt. 

Honestly, I love the hours in the prayer room. I was kind of nervous that I would get really tired, or get bored or something like that, but it’s been so wonderful. I have just been eating up the word of God and then meditating on it. I’ll be reading and then the worship band will start playing a song I love and so I can just stand up and worship for a while, sit back down, and read some more. It’s wonderful. I love the Bible. I’ve never been able to say that before, but it’s really true. 

I feel so blessed to be here. I don’t know what these next few months will hold, but the Lord is so good! It’s the truth. He loves me and the truth of that is changing me. He is making me more and more like his son, Jesus. It’s a beautiful thing. 

More to come soon!

Love to you all, Claire Joy

looking back

every once in a while i pull out my old journals. i like to read the thoughts and prayers of my simple self and my very dramatic accounts of life then. and usually something catches my eye and it becomes so clear to me how God has been preparing me for the present. he has been shaping my foolish, girlish, childish heart. dumbfounded, i am simply thankful that he is the planner, that i didn't fall in love with and marry that boy from my 9th grade biology class, that i didn't move to france right out of highschool, and that i didn't follow in that particular person's footsteps like i wanted.

i am really thankful.

probably in a few years (or months), i'll look back on my journals from now and think how very young and overly dramatic i was.