4.22.11

One of my dear, second-mom friends sent me a letter the other day. I love getting mail and I love hearing from her! At the end of the letter, it said, “I hope you are finding what you are seeking”. As I pondered that phrase, a song popped into my head.

The more I seek you, the more I find you

The more I find you, the more I love you

Oh how those words washed over me. And I realized that yes, I am finding what I am seeking. I am finding God. And the more I find Him the more I really do love Him. I love Jesus. And the more I talk with Him, listen to Him, and study His life, the more I become like Him. What a glorious man He is! Son of God, Son of Man. He is the most humble man there ever was and ever will be and that is why the Father exalted Him to the highest place.

Slowly, buy surely, He is working in me and changing me. He is making me like Him. He is setting me free and making me radiant.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. Ps. 34:4-5

4.19.11

I started Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer the other day. So far, so good! I highly recommend it. This song lyric keeps going through my head, and I can't get over it.

What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.
What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.
What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.
What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.
What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.

And still I'm not even close to understanding it.

sermon on the mount

Jesus doesn't ask us to do anything He doesn't do, Himself. Matthew 5-7 is who Jesus is. 

God gives things to hungry people that He simply doesn’t give to the “full”

Give me hunger, Jesus. Would I be so desperate for You that I would throw aside my dignity (Matt. 15:22-28) for breakthrough in my heart.  I don’t want to have a ‘plan B’; I want to know that You really are my only hope (Mark 10:46-52). I don’t want to miss my opportunity to receive what You have for me at this moment. I don’t want to just be close to You, I want to touch You and be changed by You (Luke 8:43-48). 

Make me desperate. Increase my yearning, craving, longing, desire for you. Would I know how utterly depraved I am without you that I would give all that I am, all that I have to get you. 

“Your grace has found me just as I am: empty-handed but alive in Your hand”

4.10.11

Sitting in the prayer room tonight, I was having a really hard time reading my bible. I felt dull. My eyes were going over the words, but nothing was hitting my heart. I couldn't get anything from the words. Sitting there, I put my bible to the side (maybe I'll connect through the worship... ). Nothing. I couldn't worship, I couldn't read, I couldn't even pray. So frustrated with myself, I begin to journal.

"Holy Spirit, help me. I need you. Give me hunger for you, for your word. Open my eyes to the wonderful things in the bible. I can't do anything without you." 


I set down my journal as the set ended and the next worship team came up. They started off with 'Your Love is Extravagant'. Just a little into it, I began to feel the presence of Holy Spirit and tears started rolling down my face. I didn't even know exactly why I was crying, but Holy Spirit had heard me and He was answering my prayer! After a few moments, I started thanking Him for listening to me and caring for me and tenderizing my heart. For the next half hour I simply rested in His love. My tears were prayers, a love offering to the Lord. He is a good dad.

peace and love?

“Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” 2 Timothy 3:12 Are you being persecuted? What do you think it means if you aren’t? To me, it says I am not hating wickedness as I should be, I am not opposing the wicked and defending orphans and widows as I should, I am not boldly proclaiming Jesus as I am commanded.

The gospel is offensive, especially today when anyone that says they themselves are right and everyone else is wrong. Watering down the truth of the gospel is not loving (like we deceive ourselves into believing). Instead, it is selfish, destructive and deadly. The only truly loving thing to do is to speak the truth of God’s love, justice, power and mercy, and to proclaim Jesus as the only way, the absolute truth and the life. We must boldly speak the truth of who Jesus is.

As you read on in 2 Timothy, Paul charges us to read/study/know the Bible so that we will preach it and keep from being deceived. We must submerse ourselves in the Word of God. And as you read, talk to the Holy Spirit about what He wrote. Ask for insight, for revelation. The Bible is living; it is eternal. With the help of the Holy Spirit, it will never get old. Come to the word in humility. It is powerful.

On Sunday, I found myself in a downtown area in Kansas City. Two of my friends and I had tried to go to a church service, but couldn’t find it, so we just walked around exploring. On our walk, we saw a lot of people sitting outside (in 80 degree weather! Praise the Lord!). We decided to hand out some flyers for an outreach event that we are a part of this month. As we were handing them out, we got to talk to some of the people there. My friend, Maran, got to talking with this 40-year-old guy and “blew our cover” mentioning her hope Jesus. Boy, oh boy, the name of Jesus is explosive! “Oh so what church are you girls from? ...You’re one of those Jehovah witnesses, aren’t you? ...So do they pass around the buckets to collect money all the time at your church with those envelopes with your address and how much money you make?” 

Let me tell you, persecution is not that far off, even here in America. We are called to boldly speak the truth in love. Are you?

4.5.11

God, make me like the wise virgins in Matthew 25. I want to get oil (cultivate intimacy with you) now and everyday until the day I see your face.

4.3.11

Yesterday, I asked the Lord to wake me up half an hour before my alarm so as to ensure time to read the bible before cleaning my apartment and other chores on my to-do list. Sure enough, at 9:31 am, I wake up. Okay, Lord, you did your part. Now I've got to do mine. Out of bed I go. I grab my bible and journal and head to the living room, making a quick pit-stop in the kitchen to start the coffee. For some reason, I decide to flip back to the Psalms and read the longest chapter in the bible (thank you, bible trivia quizzes and Blake), Psalm 119.

Coffee is done. Mug in hand, I begin to read. The words are coming off the page, going deep into my heart. I am stunned. I want to run to the other room and wake up my roommates to read to them! God's word is alive, and it is absolutely beautiful. Thank you, Holy Spirit for your word. Thanks for opening my eyes to see the wondrous things from your law. (psalm 119:18)