9.4.13

Papa, I am tired, and my heart is weary.

Claire Joy, trust me. I can do exceeding far abundantly more than your precious, beautiful heart can ask or imagine. Keep walking with me and never stop trusting me. You are learning invaluable lessons. This season is so important. Rest in my wisdom; trust my goodness. I love you; I won't leave you. Never. My eyes are on you and I am with you. Always. Oh how I love you.

Okay, Papa, I will. But please help me; carry me. 










And he does. And I love him for it.

just three examples

D is lovely

wonderful

lively

fun

a great cook

smart

beautiful.

G is one of the kindest people i know

caring

exciting

excitable

learned

giving

stunning.

H is amazing

hilarious

compassionate
humble
joyful

selfless.

She is like Jesus.

These three women have taught me, nurtured me, given me a hunger for God and His ways. At different times in my life I have learned from them. At a very young age, H loved me; she tangibly showed me the love of God. I look back on those years with her and see Jesus. G taught me about the heart of God and how He has deep emotions. My deep emotions are God-like and God-given. She helped me to channel them into prayer, compassion and hope, hope in God. D sought me out when I was unknown. She imparted her creativity to me, patiently teaching me are nurturing my creativity as a little girl. 

These three woman are servants, powerful, courageous servants. They are complete; their lives are full. And none of them have ever married.

Unfinishe

So many thoughts swirling
about life
love
truth
God.

It seems I just can't finish my thoughts.
I start to write, but I don't finish before I give up.
I want to finish
But I don't.

Every day I'm learning more
with more stories to tell.

About Jo
Telling her that she is beautiful
Then her pulling me close to her in an embrace
"I love you, thank you" she whispers.

About Carol
Her isolation
Her bitterness that grows and festers and pollutes
How one comment, so many years ago, left unforgiven has crippled her.

About running
How He is teaching me perseverance
Trust
Endurance
Not to worry.

There are more
I am learning
Gleaning
Growing.

I am loving
Giving
Working
Sinning
Turning
Forgiving
Resting.

It is hard for me to finish because I am not.

Over the Years

These are a few precious people and memories over the years.

Enjoy!

"Little" brother, Jeff

Little Joel and I in Paris, France

Sweet Valeria's dance recital

One of my role models

Laughs with my sweet Gramma

One of my dearest friends

The beautiful Hailley Jo on her birthday

5.4.13

There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head.
I have papers to write, but I just can't seem to focus.
I am overwhelmed with thanks.
My Lord, my God has been so good to me.
You have saved my life; I am eternally grateful. [Heh, Toy Story]
I am amazed at the changes the Lord has produced in my heart & life.
Thinking of where I was a year ago, I am humbled.
Thinking of where I was a few months ago, I am still amazed & thankful.

This semester has been so good.
Really. So good.
Classes have challenged me more than ever.
Relationships have stretched and shaped me.
I have been pressed, but not crushed, all by God's grace.
The hardest things in my life have always turned out to be the best,
To produce the most refinement.

It's not what I have done.
It's Jesus' grace.
I've failed so often, so frequently.
But God's grace is enough.
It is sufficient.
Really.

So, I am left here overwhelmed, amazed, undone.
I cannot explain it, or even understand it myself.
I am quiet, thankful, with tear-brimmed eyes.
He loves me; that is enough.
All I can do is love Him back.

And I do.
I love Him.
By His grace, His Spirit,
I desperately love Him.





P.S. It's been 8 months to the day since my last blog post... Oh well!