an evening walk with Dad

the other evening, i got home from work and went on a walk with my Lord. i bundled up and headed out. the sun was already going down, so i headed west to enjoy the show. man, it was beautiful. i was moved to tears with the kindness of my heavenly Dad. He loves me perfectly; He knows all that i need.

i was just talking with Him during our walk. He was showing me that it's not that He just loves His other children. He doesn't just care for them and not me. He sees me, knows me. He knows the absolute best way to lead me. God's son is Jesus and yet He takes the time to think about little, sinful, selfish me! He was telling me how precious i am to Him.

and then i started meditating on who God is. wow, what a glorious thing. He doesn't have a starting point; there has never been a time when God wasn't. hmmmm. what the heck. 

"so, why did you make me?" i asked. "when you knew the pain i would cause you in my sin, you knew i wouldn't be faithful to you, you still made this world, you still made me... why?" 

because I wanted to; because I wanted you.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh! what? no way. well, let's see. is that really biblical?

You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; 

for You created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created.

Revelation 4:11

well, it's right there. okay, Lord, i believe you. but help me understand. i just don't get it.

I wanted you to know Me, my love, my beauty, my holiness, my kindness. I wanted to bring you into the glory that I have. I am altogether good. I wanted you to rejoice with Me.

wow. what an honor! my God, my King, my Lord, my Love. You are worthy of everything i have, all that i am. may my life be an offering of love poured out. would You be glorified by the way i live, the way i speak, how i spend my time and my money. be glorified in my heart. 

I will bless the LORD at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul shall make its boast in the LORD;

The humble shall hear of it and be glad.

Oh, magnify the LORD with me,

And let us exalt His name together. 

I sought the LORD, and He heard me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

They looked to Him and were radiant,

And their faces were not ashamed.

psalm 34:1-5

i know the end of the story:
i come up from the wilderness leaning on my Beloved.

painted hands, happy heart

my bedroom is also my art room. and because i let it get messy, my artistic style also got cramped. i felt like i had no space to start or continue any art projects. this past weekend it was my goal to clean and reorganize my room. yesterday i got it done! oh how glorious it is to have a clean house/room.

in the meantime of having a messy room, my creative outlet has been my guitar. and while music is soothing and healing to my soul in a way nothing else is, it isn't the same as painting and creating. i need both.

so this morning i got my hands dirty again with a glorious paint, glue and fabric mess. 

journal entry 1.24.11

"Jesus, you are worth it

you are worth leaving gma, mom and dad for five months

you are worth waiting until i'm 22+ to get married

you are worth even never getting married

you are worth not having a paying job

you are worth living in a little apartment with three other girls

you are worth fasting every week

you are worth giving up television, movies and secular music

you are worth laying down my life, hopes and dreams

you are more than it all

have my love, have my all"

onething

seriously, one of the BEST decisions i've made was to do this internship. ask the Lord if He wants you to do it, too!

"it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more,  

with KNOWLEDGE and all DISCERNMENT" 

phil 1:9

11.29.11

i just love weather. and this relatively warm rain is absolutely wonderful!

also, no coat in november? don't mind if i do!

tis the season... of my life

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 

knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. 

You are serving the Lord Christ.

colossians 3:23 & 24

these verses resound throughout my mind and heart.

"what are you up to these days? are you in school/did you graduate?"
these seem to be the go-to questions. no, i haven't graduated and no, i'm not in school. i work two part-time jobs and i'm an intern. this is the not-so-glamorous reality.

"whatever you do..."

i praise God that i am employed, that i have a home (my parents') and that i have all that i need. i am so thankful that God promised that He has a great future for me, too. but that does not let me off the hook for the present. whatever i do now i must work at it with all my heart for the Lord.

the jobs that i have (care-giver at an assisted living home and barista at a coffee shop) i love. they are both really challenging at different times and in different ways, but i am so thankful for the opportunities they both bring. at work, i am serving coffee, i am working honestly and with integrity, i am putting lovely elderly people to bed, all for the Lord. He sees the tiny ways i am laying down my life, He sees my love for Him. He says that it moves His heart. what a privilege to work for the Lord God almighty! He is the best boss.

so this season of my life, i am learning to love God in the mundane of the "whatever" i do. i get to live every uneventful (or quite eventful) day for His glory saying, "Jesus, won't You increase and i decrease!"

I will praise the LORD as long as I live; 

I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

11.21.11

i really love this man named Jesus. he is the reason i rejoice, hope, love, sing, and smile. i am so thankful. 

all to Jesus, i surrender

because He is more than worth it
because i want that joy
the joy of complete surrender, complete trust
trust that He is wholly good, wholly holy

i surrender because i trust
i trust because i believe
i believe because i've tasted and seen that the Lord is good [ps 34:8]
i have experienced the goodness of God


oh the joy of full salvation!
glory, glory, to His name!

your grace is here with me

10.28.11

let the light of Your face shine down on my heart
and let me feel it

i love the Lord because He loved me first. i love Him because of who He is. i love Him because He is worthy.

i am undone by God's love today. my weak attempts at righteousness are nothing. me trying to be righteous, that isn't what God wants. He wants me to receive Jesus' righteousness and rejoice in that. so i will.

right now Jesus, i receive Your forgiveness, love, and mercy.  i want to walk worthy of the calling that You have given me. i want to live a holy, beautiful, joyful, love-filled life with You. so come, take me from the ashes and make me beautiful. make me like You.

10.14.11

put me anywhere, just put your glory in me
i'll serve anywhere, just let me see your beauty
my God, my joy, my delight