talking to Abba

"How we view God will determine how we approach Him in prayer. If we view Him as aloof or angry, we will not want to pray very much. When we see Him as a tender Father and passionate Bridegroom who desires for us to come to Him, then we will pray much more."

7 Commitments of a Forerunner

radical

For each person it will look different. God does not compare us, His children. He calls us to be accountable to Him and Him alone. Talk to the Lord about what ‘radical’ should be in your own life. What should ‘laying down your life’ be for you? How about ‘taking up your cross daily’? Wrestle through it. Talk to God about what it means for you and then follow through! God gives us so much grace, but He wants us to be willing to give up everything, even our lives, out of love for Jesus.

worry

is denying the existence of God the Father.

on my mind, my heart

tonight, as i try to focus for a big test tomorrow, i am moved deep down in my heart. i am moved by three things.

injustice. my heart cries out for abused, forgotten, and hurting people.
“There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony." 
Luke 16:19-15

Detroit. i believe God has been preparing me for it for years. i've been listening. i know that the time isn't right now. but i feel that it is close. i am praying for patience. i am praying for Detroit. to me, it is so beautiful; there is so much hope. God feels the same, but more so and more perfectly. "Detroit, lift up your weary head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)" amen, Sufjan, amen!

orphanages. orphans, abandonment, loneliness, hopelessness, corrupt systems, cold hearts. i remember when we went back to morocco to visit our old friends and to pray for the country, we spent a day at an orphanage. oh how i begged my mom, could we adopt? she tried explaining to me how it wasn't allowed because we were foreigners. "that's so dumb," i thought. "if moroccans aren't adopting them, then why can't we?" it's something i can see in the future, adoption, or foster care, or something the like.
"But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, 'Abba, Father!'” Galatians 4:4-6




even when my heart is heavy, my Abba says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

hear my cry

as i rend my heart, will you rend the heavens?
as i look to you, may you shine your glory.

prayer to my perfect Dad

i don't want to write my own story, i don't want to make my own way, 

i just want to follow in your footsteps, Father, show me your way.

divine intervention

Can I just say, the Lord is good. Even when I simply want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my face and start the day over, he is so good.

After a discouraging lunch meeting, I was feeling sick and just bad tempered in general. Sweet, hopeful Alison asked if us three girls wanted to go for a prayer walk around the neighborhood. “Ughhhhhh!” was my internal reaction. I like having a purpose, a place to go, a goal to achieve, so naturally, long (pointless) walks are not my cup of tea. But instead of voicing complaints, I simply shrugged and said, “whatever you guys want to do...” as unpleasantly as possible without being directly rude. We then set out walking, Kristan and Alison, kindly disregarding my dreadful attitude.

Alison had some back troubles from before the trip. She is doing quite well now (we are all so thankful!) but we’ve been keeping a close eye on her and one thing she has to be careful of is walking too fast. I like things fast. Patience is called a virtue. It is, however, rarely counted as one of mine. A slow, meandering walk... Again, uuughh.

As we walked, they prayed: for surrounding people, for our trip, for India. I wasn’t. My heart and mind were just so closed to the Lord. I had been walking a bit ahead of them, impatiently trying to speed up the walk. All of a sudden, I turned back to see Kristan motioning me back to where they are. Puzzled, I quickly retraced my steps and followed them into some one’s front door. “What’s going on??” almost panicking, I questioned Kristan. “She invited us in,” she replied simply.

Alvira is her name. Kind, quirky, friendly, open Alvira. She offered us coffee and orange juice. We spent two lovely hours with her, hearing her story, reading some of her poetry and sharing about ourselves.

She was a breath of fresh air. Fresh air that smacked me in the face saying, “Your crabby attitude doesn’t get in the way of My plans, Claire. I am not thrown off. In ALL things, I am creating beauty. I take your ashes and create something truly beautiful. You may get stuck in your own world of self pity and lose sight of my face, but I love you too much to give up on you. Return to me, my arms are forever open for you. You are too precious to me. It hurts my heart when you turn away. Come back, my child. here is where you are safe, here with me. This is home. Wherever you may be, when you are in my arms, held tight to my heart, you are home.



Father, forgive me. I am so weak. I let tiny things grow into enormous barriers. Thank you for your incredible grace. Thank you for overcoming sin, my sin, and humbling me gently. You rejoice to welcome me back into your arms of love. I love you.