sunday school gem

a conversation between me and the kiddos in sunday school today.

R: are you a teacher at M's school?
Me: no...
R: are you like a mentor there?
Me: no... why?
R: cause he said you are his mentor.
M: no i didn't! i said she was my best friend!



they melt my heart.

9.4.13

Papa, I am tired, and my heart is weary.

Claire Joy, trust me. I can do exceeding far abundantly more than your precious, beautiful heart can ask or imagine. Keep walking with me and never stop trusting me. You are learning invaluable lessons. This season is so important. Rest in my wisdom; trust my goodness. I love you; I won't leave you. Never. My eyes are on you and I am with you. Always. Oh how I love you.

Okay, Papa, I will. But please help me; carry me. 










And he does. And I love him for it.

just three examples

D is lovely

wonderful

lively

fun

a great cook

smart

beautiful.

G is one of the kindest people i know

caring

exciting

excitable

learned

giving

stunning.

H is amazing

hilarious

compassionate
humble
joyful

selfless.

She is like Jesus.

These three women have taught me, nurtured me, given me a hunger for God and His ways. At different times in my life I have learned from them. At a very young age, H loved me; she tangibly showed me the love of God. I look back on those years with her and see Jesus. G taught me about the heart of God and how He has deep emotions. My deep emotions are God-like and God-given. She helped me to channel them into prayer, compassion and hope, hope in God. D sought me out when I was unknown. She imparted her creativity to me, patiently teaching me are nurturing my creativity as a little girl. 

These three woman are servants, powerful, courageous servants. They are complete; their lives are full. And none of them have ever married.

Unfinishe

So many thoughts swirling
about life
love
truth
God.

It seems I just can't finish my thoughts.
I start to write, but I don't finish before I give up.
I want to finish
But I don't.

Every day I'm learning more
with more stories to tell.

About Jo
Telling her that she is beautiful
Then her pulling me close to her in an embrace
"I love you, thank you" she whispers.

About Carol
Her isolation
Her bitterness that grows and festers and pollutes
How one comment, so many years ago, left unforgiven has crippled her.

About running
How He is teaching me perseverance
Trust
Endurance
Not to worry.

There are more
I am learning
Gleaning
Growing.

I am loving
Giving
Working
Sinning
Turning
Forgiving
Resting.

It is hard for me to finish because I am not.

Over the Years

These are a few precious people and memories over the years.

Enjoy!

"Little" brother, Jeff

Little Joel and I in Paris, France

Sweet Valeria's dance recital

One of my role models

Laughs with my sweet Gramma

One of my dearest friends

The beautiful Hailley Jo on her birthday

5.4.13

There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head.
I have papers to write, but I just can't seem to focus.
I am overwhelmed with thanks.
My Lord, my God has been so good to me.
You have saved my life; I am eternally grateful. [Heh, Toy Story]
I am amazed at the changes the Lord has produced in my heart & life.
Thinking of where I was a year ago, I am humbled.
Thinking of where I was a few months ago, I am still amazed & thankful.

This semester has been so good.
Really. So good.
Classes have challenged me more than ever.
Relationships have stretched and shaped me.
I have been pressed, but not crushed, all by God's grace.
The hardest things in my life have always turned out to be the best,
To produce the most refinement.

It's not what I have done.
It's Jesus' grace.
I've failed so often, so frequently.
But God's grace is enough.
It is sufficient.
Really.

So, I am left here overwhelmed, amazed, undone.
I cannot explain it, or even understand it myself.
I am quiet, thankful, with tear-brimmed eyes.
He loves me; that is enough.
All I can do is love Him back.

And I do.
I love Him.
By His grace, His Spirit,
I desperately love Him.





P.S. It's been 8 months to the day since my last blog post... Oh well!

halleluia!

the Lord really used this song to break me down and reveal his overwhelmingly undeserved kindness to me. i hope it blesses you as it did me.

7.19.12

Your mercy is new every morning/ i am overwhelmed/ Your faithfulness is great.

7.16.12

truly, i believe that nothing satisfies other than Jesus Himself.


broken, i run to you for your arms are open wide
i am weary but i know your touch restores my life
hungry, i come to you for i know you satisfy


truly, i am broken
i am desperately hungry
i will drink living water that comes from Jesus, the One who has the words of life.

trust

Thank you [Holy Spirit for living in me, for leading me, for your love, for your grace, for your mercy]
Release revelation [of who you are, of who I am, of your love for me, of your will]
Use me [I give myself to you today, I'm yours]
Strengthen me [for the work you have for me, to run this race, to not give up]
Teach me [your word, your way, how to live, how to love]

5.24.12

redeeming love has been my theme 

and shall be til i die

4.21.12

You are so faithful,
so kind.

i am itching to travel and it looks like i finally will be!
overwhelmed with thanks.
asia, i'm coming back!
get ready,
get excited.
Lord knows, i am!

new season ahead

i'm excited.
Lord, lead me and guide me.
may i walk with You
may i listen to you,
obey you.

trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

delight yourself also in the Lord,

and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

commit your way to the Lord,

trust also in Him, 

and He shall bring it to pass.

He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

psalm 37

mmmm good. 

amen, come Lord Jesus!

quiet

shhhh, be still. listen, don't speak. quiet your soul; receive from me. 

during a conversation with a friend, the question came up,"what do you think the Lord is asking you to give up?" uhh, so practical. i was talking to the Lord, asking Him what was i holding on to that i needed to give up. but i knew what it was.

i love being accepted, being loved. i seek that from people before the Lord [who already loves me fully, completely]. i knew that i needed to be quiet on the internet for a while, both facebook statuses and here on my blog.

claire, where are you looking for love? be quiet, sit with Me, listen to Me. I have the words of life. I revive your spirit; I am your source. come to Me, you who are weary and heavy-laden, I will give you rest.


thanks, Father. Your words are true and You keep Your promises. help me trust You.

so in the silence, as i went to the Lord, He spoke to me of who i am. He spoke of my identity, my value and my worth.  He is so faithful to speak when i listen.

"Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life"

john 6:68

catch me up in Your story
all my life, for Your glory!

glorious God

tonight there was such a magical sunset. absolutely beautiful. i am blown away by God's painting skillz (yes, with a 'z').

with such beauty in creation, can you begin to imagine what God actually looks like? His is on a throne in heaven right now receiving honor and worship. oh, to see Him face-to-face! to behold the untainted beauty of my King! that is a day to look forward to indeed.

maranatha. come, oh, Lord.
the Spirit and the bride (hey, that's me!) say come!

journal entry 12.13.11

"... beautiful scars, like in your hands, feet and side."

mom was praying for me and thanked You that You turn wounds into beautiful scars. it really struck me. even You, Jesus, have scars. You were wounded and have the scars to prove it. but they are completely beautiful, like You. they tell the story of Your humility, beauty, grace and mercy.

that is true for me, too. my wounds, You are healing into absolutely beautiful scars that tell the same story: Your beauty, mercy, humility and grace! all my life is for Your glory. You are making me like You ( s l o w l y  but surely!). my scars are trophies of Your mercy. i see them and they remind me of Your faithfulness to me. i am so thankful and humbled.

thanks, Dad, that You have walked with me thus far and You won't leave me, now or ever!

an evening walk with Dad

the other evening, i got home from work and went on a walk with my Lord. i bundled up and headed out. the sun was already going down, so i headed west to enjoy the show. man, it was beautiful. i was moved to tears with the kindness of my heavenly Dad. He loves me perfectly; He knows all that i need.

i was just talking with Him during our walk. He was showing me that it's not that He just loves His other children. He doesn't just care for them and not me. He sees me, knows me. He knows the absolute best way to lead me. God's son is Jesus and yet He takes the time to think about little, sinful, selfish me! He was telling me how precious i am to Him.

and then i started meditating on who God is. wow, what a glorious thing. He doesn't have a starting point; there has never been a time when God wasn't. hmmmm. what the heck. 

"so, why did you make me?" i asked. "when you knew the pain i would cause you in my sin, you knew i wouldn't be faithful to you, you still made this world, you still made me... why?" 

because I wanted to; because I wanted you.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh! what? no way. well, let's see. is that really biblical?

You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; 

for You created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created.

Revelation 4:11

well, it's right there. okay, Lord, i believe you. but help me understand. i just don't get it.

I wanted you to know Me, my love, my beauty, my holiness, my kindness. I wanted to bring you into the glory that I have. I am altogether good. I wanted you to rejoice with Me.

wow. what an honor! my God, my King, my Lord, my Love. You are worthy of everything i have, all that i am. may my life be an offering of love poured out. would You be glorified by the way i live, the way i speak, how i spend my time and my money. be glorified in my heart. 

I will bless the LORD at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul shall make its boast in the LORD;

The humble shall hear of it and be glad.

Oh, magnify the LORD with me,

And let us exalt His name together. 

I sought the LORD, and He heard me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

They looked to Him and were radiant,

And their faces were not ashamed.

psalm 34:1-5

i know the end of the story:
i come up from the wilderness leaning on my Beloved.

painted hands, happy heart

my bedroom is also my art room. and because i let it get messy, my artistic style also got cramped. i felt like i had no space to start or continue any art projects. this past weekend it was my goal to clean and reorganize my room. yesterday i got it done! oh how glorious it is to have a clean house/room.

in the meantime of having a messy room, my creative outlet has been my guitar. and while music is soothing and healing to my soul in a way nothing else is, it isn't the same as painting and creating. i need both.

so this morning i got my hands dirty again with a glorious paint, glue and fabric mess.