knowing me...

1. my 23-year-old sister is getting married in a few short days which is really wonderful.
2. i am standing up with her as her maid of honor. it truly is an honor.

1 + 2 = me very nervous

why, do you ask?
well really, it's very simple. and probably not for reasons you may imagine.

you see, i'm a klutz. it's no secret. i've embraced it. from tearing clothes, to falling while walking up the stairs, to spilling coffee any time i drink it in any kind of cup that does not have a top, it's pretty obvious. and while i am happy with the ungraceful girl the good Lord has made me, this time my clumsiness is making me considerably nervous.

this is my sister's big day we're talking about here. and she's asked me to be in front of all those people. boy, ellie, are you sure you made a good decision there? not only am i nervous about the actual ceremony and walking down the aisle in heels and making sure ellie's dress lays prettily for the photos, and all, but i'm nervous about this time before the actual wedding. i'm afraid i'll slip on the ice and break my leg, or i'll get deathly ill, or i'll get in a car accident, or i'll, or i'll, or i'll!

oh brother. and it's not even me that's getting married! i think i need to pray that i can bring peace, not anxiety to ellie in these next few days. amen? amen.

12/12 global day of prayer

pray for HOPE

http://vimeo.com/16974479

so much, so soon

first up: sister's getting married!

wedding date: december 18, 2010

and with that come aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. so SO happy.

next: my bestfriend and love comes home!

his return: december 20

he has been gone for almost three months. i am so proud of him & beside myself excited for his return! seriously, i am so blessed to be loved by him.

then it's christmas, yeah!

then a bunch of my friends are going to onething. a conference in Kansas City, MO december 28-31. it's going to be wonderful, and i wouldn't want to start the new year anywhere else. 

(onething 2008)

and THEN it's the new year! & even though i don't know what that will bring, i know that my good Father God has great things for me. i can rest in His love. 

praise Jesus & hallelujah! 

worry

is denying the existence of God the Father.

penny pincher-- part 1

if you chew a lot of gum, like i do, listen close. this simple and easy change that can save you big in the long-run. here it is. chew half a piece of gum at a time. that's it!

now watch as your gum stash lasts you twice as long. that savings adds up fast.

deep, deep hatred

i hate Satan. oh how, i hate him. he breaks apart families, twists truth, poisons hearts with bitterness and lies. he is the prince of this world. God hates Satan, too. God has given him power because we were not satisfied in God. therefore, we must cry out to God to save us from the evil in this world everyday.

on my mind, my heart

tonight, as i try to focus for a big test tomorrow, i am moved deep down in my heart. i am moved by three things.

injustice. my heart cries out for abused, forgotten, and hurting people.
“There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony." 
Luke 16:19-15

Detroit. i believe God has been preparing me for it for years. i've been listening. i know that the time isn't right now. but i feel that it is close. i am praying for patience. i am praying for Detroit. to me, it is so beautiful; there is so much hope. God feels the same, but more so and more perfectly. "Detroit, lift up your weary head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)" amen, Sufjan, amen!

orphanages. orphans, abandonment, loneliness, hopelessness, corrupt systems, cold hearts. i remember when we went back to morocco to visit our old friends and to pray for the country, we spent a day at an orphanage. oh how i begged my mom, could we adopt? she tried explaining to me how it wasn't allowed because we were foreigners. "that's so dumb," i thought. "if moroccans aren't adopting them, then why can't we?" it's something i can see in the future, adoption, or foster care, or something the like.
"But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, 'Abba, Father!'” Galatians 4:4-6




even when my heart is heavy, my Abba says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

this is me

with no make up, and little hair.

hear my cry

as i rend my heart, will you rend the heavens?
as i look to you, may you shine your glory.

forever young

today, my grandma turned to me and asked, "how old are you now... 15 years old?"

last week, i applied at a little coffee shop in livonia. the manager thought it necessary to let me know that i had to be at least 16 to work there.

whenever i am around the middle schoolers that i volunteer with, too often another leader does a double take then laughs, "oh claire, that's you! i thought you were one of the kids."

it's not a curse, i know. just gotta keep telling myself that.

all i am and have and every hope to be

all of my ambitions, hopes and plans
i surrender these into Your hands

for it's only in Your will that i am free

no-makeup-november

Instead of not shaving (like the guys), let's commit to a makeup-free month! Ladies, our beauty is not found in our physical appearance. It is found in our hearts being captured by our Heavenly Father and receiving His amazing, perfect love. He created us as truly, uniquely beautiful. We all sometimes fall into the lies telling us we need to hide our faces in order to be beautiful or enhance our beauty. Together we will embrace the love of God and find our true beauty and satisfaction in Him.

Will you join me? 


Want to know who else is participating? Check it here on facebook.

prayer to my perfect Dad

i don't want to write my own story, i don't want to make my own way, 

i just want to follow in your footsteps, Father, show me your way.

looking back

every once in a while i pull out my old journals. i like to read the thoughts and prayers of my simple self and my very dramatic accounts of life then. and usually something catches my eye and it becomes so clear to me how God has been preparing me for the present. he has been shaping my foolish, girlish, childish heart. dumbfounded, i am simply thankful that he is the planner, that i didn't fall in love with and marry that boy from my 9th grade biology class, that i didn't move to france right out of highschool, and that i didn't follow in that particular person's footsteps like i wanted.

i am really thankful.

probably in a few years (or months), i'll look back on my journals from now and think how very young and overly dramatic i was.

comfort

is so sought after in our culture.

Jesus didn't have it.


i don't want it.



uncomfort.




i want it.





like Jesus.

holy spirit

lead me,
us,
take over,
speak.

i am listening.

fill me up, send me out

i will give up everything to go after your heart. if it means spending $3,000 and the summer in KC then so be it. if it means spending two days a week (or seven) in ministry in Detroit then i’m there. if it means spending time and resources helping with this prayer house, i’ll do it. lead me. i am after Your heart. where you send me, i will go.


make my path clear, i am ready. i trust You.

beauty

is not...
hair
style
clothes
make-up.

it's not even...
a clean&clear complection
pearly whites
a rockin' bod
the hottest stylettos
a perfect tan
number of daily compliments received.

beauty is the transparency of the flesh so as to reflect the only wholly beautiful one. then not only do we become beautiful, we become truly radiant.

divine intervention

Can I just say, the Lord is good. Even when I simply want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my face and start the day over, he is so good.

After a discouraging lunch meeting, I was feeling sick and just bad tempered in general. Sweet, hopeful Alison asked if us three girls wanted to go for a prayer walk around the neighborhood. “Ughhhhhh!” was my internal reaction. I like having a purpose, a place to go, a goal to achieve, so naturally, long (pointless) walks are not my cup of tea. But instead of voicing complaints, I simply shrugged and said, “whatever you guys want to do...” as unpleasantly as possible without being directly rude. We then set out walking, Kristan and Alison, kindly disregarding my dreadful attitude.

Alison had some back troubles from before the trip. She is doing quite well now (we are all so thankful!) but we’ve been keeping a close eye on her and one thing she has to be careful of is walking too fast. I like things fast. Patience is called a virtue. It is, however, rarely counted as one of mine. A slow, meandering walk... Again, uuughh.

As we walked, they prayed: for surrounding people, for our trip, for India. I wasn’t. My heart and mind were just so closed to the Lord. I had been walking a bit ahead of them, impatiently trying to speed up the walk. All of a sudden, I turned back to see Kristan motioning me back to where they are. Puzzled, I quickly retraced my steps and followed them into some one’s front door. “What’s going on??” almost panicking, I questioned Kristan. “She invited us in,” she replied simply.

Alvira is her name. Kind, quirky, friendly, open Alvira. She offered us coffee and orange juice. We spent two lovely hours with her, hearing her story, reading some of her poetry and sharing about ourselves.

She was a breath of fresh air. Fresh air that smacked me in the face saying, “Your crabby attitude doesn’t get in the way of My plans, Claire. I am not thrown off. In ALL things, I am creating beauty. I take your ashes and create something truly beautiful. You may get stuck in your own world of self pity and lose sight of my face, but I love you too much to give up on you. Return to me, my arms are forever open for you. You are too precious to me. It hurts my heart when you turn away. Come back, my child. here is where you are safe, here with me. This is home. Wherever you may be, when you are in my arms, held tight to my heart, you are home.



Father, forgive me. I am so weak. I let tiny things grow into enormous barriers. Thank you for your incredible grace. Thank you for overcoming sin, my sin, and humbling me gently. You rejoice to welcome me back into your arms of love. I love you.

desires.

love [selflessly]
encourage [wisely]
heal [indirectly]
uplift [wholly]
give [joyfully]

mold me into something beautifully, entirely Yours.

creations [1]

well, i love art. i love painting, creating, imagining, and getting messy. recently i've been making cards, and painting the most.

so i've decided to periodically post some of my creations.
thank you cards...

this is my prayer.

today i am 20. whew! yet, i still have a long way to go.
God is my hope. &this is my prayer.


God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything
tim hughes: everything